Friday, February 25, 2011

"Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way."

Today is a monumental day, and it shall go down in history as the day I, Keck, discovered an alternative definition to the word "YOGI."

This epiphany is the result of a very troublesome addiction to yogurt. EVERY morning I have a bowl of plain yogurt with grape nuts and dried cranberries (left). After 5 minutes the bowl is empty (right), I am feeling satisfied, and the anticipation for tomorrow's breakfast yogurt begins.

Although I have not become tired of the dish, I have noticed that I have been attempting novel pronunciations of the word, "yogurt." Currently, I am testing the British pronunciation which sounds more like "yah-gert" than "yo-gert." If this addiction continues I suppose I'll have to switch to the French pronunciation, something like "air-ohte," or perhaps eventually the German "yo-gort." Oh dear. Let's hope this addiction doesn't last too long.

You're rolling your eyes, I can imagine...or at least hope, for your sake, dear reader! If you're not thinking me perfectly ridiculous by now, I should think less of you. For, indeed, I acknowledge the preposterous nature of my actions. I recognize, to your astonishment I'm sure, that the desire the change pronunciations of the object for which my palette yearns, is merely an attempt to convince myself that this addiction to "bacterial fermentation of milk" is more cerebral than reality admits. And in this attempt, I have done the miraculous. I have changed the meaning of YOGI for future generations--what a glorious day!
Therefore, the definition of Yogi shall forever read as follows:
Yogi: regular practitioner of yoga OR yogurt-obsessed freak with an addiction.

You're welcome.

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