“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.”

Realizations Since Being in Paris...

Nicolas Sarkozy is even shorter in person than he looks on TV. After seeing him and his darling wife on l'Avenue Marceau this evening, I realized that THE NAPOLEON COMPLEX IS ALIVE AND WELL.

 

BUYERS' REMORSE MUST NOT EXIST IN FRANCE. As my family knows, I greatly suffer from buyers' remorse. I have been known to purchase something while at the mall and return it before I leave. It's a problem, I know. But let's not get me confused with those horrible people who return gifts! I would NEVER do that. I just return the things I buy myself. My mother and sister do not understand this concept and apparently neither do the French. Returning something in Paris--if they will even let you--is one of the most difficult things I've faced in this city, thus far. It's like you're asking them to take back the baby you've just adopted. IT'S JUST MERCHANDISE! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT? I bet it's a temporary conspiracy by the government in reaction to the Euro crisis. No? Think not? Well, then, I guess I'm just going to have to get used to it.


Grocery shopping has become an adventure, as of late. I can literally spend an hour just looking at all the food products. The brands, the mixes, the popular food choices, the desserts, the snacks, the weird drink syrups that people love here (I don't understand the syrup drink at all; I didn't find it appetizing. Someone please explain the appeal. Perhaps, i'll write a post on this later.): all of these things grasp my attention while grocery shopping and I get stuck reading the packages of everything. Of course, Americans are sure to discover that some things don't translate well in France (Peanut Butter, Cold Milk, Oatmeal, Hot Sauce), but the wonderful jam and cheese selection will hopefully take your mind off of this. There is, however, one thing by which I am most disturbed. That is, my recent discovery that CAMPBELL'S SOUP TOTALLY SWINDLES AMERICANS. It's supposed to be a great American symbol, right? Think Warhol, New York's Revolutionary Art Movement in the 50s & 60s, the Campbell's Soup Can!!! Well, America, you're being swindled. The soup here is sooo much better and is made by Campbell's!! They may have changed the name, but it's a Campbell's company, alright. It's in the small print and you won't find it unless you, too, are interested in reading all the French packages...but the logo is right there (see photo). So why are the states getting stuck with lousy soup when France is getting yummy tomato bisques?? One word: Standards. It's time to revolt, America. Raise your standards! Maybe, then, Campbell's will give us the good soup.

Today, Soup Nazi has new meaning.  

THE GREATEST THING WASN'T SLICED BREAD. At least, not in France. In the states, we have this saying: "X is the greatest thing since sliced bread." Well, French people don't really eat sliced bread. I mean, sandwiches are made on baguettes, which is okay since no one is about to make a pb&j. And the section devoted to sliced bread at the supermarket is small, depressing, and doused in shame, as if to say, "Who would ever buy processed bread in plastic? Pff!" So perhaps sliced bread wasn't the greatest invention? Or maybe we should learn to stop using this phrase if we are planning to include international developments or inventions. How about the greatest thing since the microwave? That was a pretty big deal, right? Cue "Realization of Sarcasm" and INSERT LAUGH HERE. Thanks, dear.